After some initial “get acquainted” conversation, the counselor probably will ask you an open-ended question such as, “How can I help you today?” or “What would you like to talk about?”  This can make people nervous, but it’s as good a way as any to get started.

It usually is best to describe your feelings first.  In other words, describe your distress before you explain the details and the circumstances.  For example, you might start by saying that you are feeling sad or depressed and just can’t seem to shake it.  The employee assistance counselor can then narrow the scope of his questions accordingly.

1. ​​​​​Determine the nature of your concern.
   Problems come in all shapes and sizes.  Depression, substance abuse, marital conflict, stress, or all of the above may be causing significant upset in your life.  The EAP counselor will likely ask you to first talk about what you are feeling.  This is easy because there are really only four emotions: sadness, fear, anger and joy. So try to determine the dominant feeling that has brought you to the EAP.  




2. Determine the intensity or severity of the problem.
   Once the nature of the problem is identified, it’s important to measure the impact on your life.  For example, losing a parent causes grief and sadness, which is a normal response.  However, if grief persists for months and begins to interfere or conflict with other areas of life, then it is severe.  




3. Assess your current motivation to address the problem and make changes.
   The goal of counseling is change—be it changing our unhealthy circumstances or our response to things that cannot change.  Accordingly, willingness to try new ways of coping with a problem, stressful event, or unpleasant person is a critical component of the counseling and change process.  Also, everyone has a tolerance for change and the employee assistance counselor can help you set an appropriate pace.  




4. Assess the type and level of support from family, friends or co-workers (if appropriate).
   Some people have ample support from family and friends and co-workers, while others have virtually none.  The amount and intensity of support needed from professionals is, in part, dependent on the availability of non-professional support from concerned others.  Individuals who live alone often require much more time and professional support for the same problem as someone with an intact support family.  

As you prepare to see the EAP, think about the four objectives outlined above and try to be as specific as you can.  But don’t worry if you can’t—sometimes we get so stressed and overwhelmed that we simply cannot put a sentence together.  The employee assistance professional will understand.

You should know that the cornerstone of the Employee Assistance Program, EAP is strict confidentiality.   The EAP counsellor will discuss this with you during the first visit and answer any questions or address any concerns that you have.